APS REVIEWS


Praise & Dissent for the 1st Edition of A Pripyat Summer

“A bold, thought-provoking, literary masterpiece of indeterminable merit and unparalleled consequence for all mankind… For the scholastically inclined, or for the simply pretentious at heart... Translations are currently pending in Latin, Sanskrit, Aramaic and Danish… ”
 - New York Post Sunday Supplement

“Seductively beautiful imagery accompanied by a rare insight into the despicable, loathsome, essentially rotten core of contemporary humanity. A highly recommended read.”
- Sydney Morning Harold

“Revel in the peoples and the landscapes, the art and architecture, the questionable culture and formidably hazardous cuisine of one of the world’s foremost flea-bitten, back-water, hillbilly shitholes. All this without leaving the comfort of your easy chair... Up, up, and away...” 
- The Daily Planet

“Confirms everything that we’ve always suspected… Sobering and persuasive intelligence gathered from the Exclusion Zone, presented with style, taste and integrity… A triumph!” 
- The Milwaukee UFO Digest

“A troubling development in the otherwise essential literary process of trans-genre synthesis...”
- Eurotrash

“you squeeze you cherry ass out toilet window you think get away all time yes? we are come for you you dead fuck you mother middle in dark night their no place you hide we easy find yes? we cut of you fucking balsack and pressing them long up in you hairy cherry hole in the ass yes?”
- private email correspondence from unknown casino owner to unnamed Belgian photographer

“The pages almost turn by themselves.” - Journal of the Dutch Paranormal Society

“At last! Clear and definitive proof that an infinite number of monkeys typing at random over an infinite amount of time can indeed produce a landmark literary achievement…” 
- Illustrated Thought

"I didn't know whether to laugh out loud, sob inconsolably into my Guiness, or simply shit my pants to spite myself. So I determined to hazard all three at once, and with some surprising results..."
 - Irish Times

“Probably the least commercial thing I’ve ever read.” - Gestapo

“Provocational… seditious… tasteless… pretentious... undergraduate… swill…” - Newz of the World

“Lowers the bar to the degree that it’s better just to hop over it and be done.” - Limbo Monthly

“A doorstop in the making.” - American House and Lifestyle

“Do you ‘ave… choc’late milk? I don’ say nuthin’ ‘fore I get my choc’late milk… mmmmm… Choc…! Choc-ohhh……….. Choc… ohhh… late! ,,,,,,,mmmmm….! ….grrrmmmmmmmmm…”
- Yelysaveta Kyrylov, Minister for Police, Main Roads, Culture & Education

“Part scholarly undertaking, part gonzo diary, part coffee-table photo travel log, part vile diatribe… As riveting as it is spiteful and downright mean-spirited… When can we expect a sequel?”
- The Oregon Summit

“Like, I dunnooo. That was, like, all weird and, like, ancient history and stuff. And there are, like, no pics of 1D and stuff, and so I’m, like: OK, what-ev-errr...”
- Girls Only

“The publishers had the foresight to print the 1st Edition in a handy roll with perforated, uncoated pages… an invaluable resource…”
- Trailblazer - the North American Wilderness Journal

“A scandal on so many planes, it’s difficult to know where to begin...”
- The Wall Street Gazette

“Schöner scheisse!”
- Die Fäkalsprache 

“Just like your standard, full-blown acid trip, it peaks bad, mean and ugly around a third of the way through, and for the better part of the remainder you just want the damned thing to stop.”
- The Catholic

“Christiansen and Anderson simply tell it like it is... A perfect read when bedding the kids for the night.”
- The Shostka Goat

“The piece on the Russia trip was very interesting.”
- Queensland Farm and Country
(RUSSIA!??!! What the FUCK!!! You didn’t even read it, did you? You lazy hayseed shit-kicker! - Ed)

“Idle are their hands. And vain and shallow their thoughts and imaginings. And from the story of their inequity and hypocrisy shall they pen a Book. And Scandal shall be its name. And Lies, and Calumny, and Infamy. And Avarice the name of its father’s house. Cursed be he that uttereth the words therein, and who doth herald its Name abroad, and who doth blandish their eternal soul with its sin and vile blasphemy. And all the sons of men shall covet it, giving alms that they might take it unto them, to admire and fetish. And they shall chortle, and declare its word in mighty voices, and in mirth shall it be received, and in delight. Yet they sin in truth and know it to be so, yet gather sin and damnation unto themselves in their waywardness. And lo! they shall cry, “Rejoice! The Day of the Book is come! It is goodly within our sight, and cometh at a reasonable price.” But they shall be cursed even though they know it not. And their children, too, shall be cursed. And their children’s children, also, even unto the 3rd and 4th generations.”
- The Apocalypse of St. Laban the Anthropophagist (20:10-18)

“We urge you again to respect our numerous requests that you immediately cease and desist from sending us any similar material for future review.”
- The Apia Post

“The publishers had the foresight to print the 1st Edition in a handy roll on soft, perforated, uncoated pages… an invaluable resource when trekking…”
- Trailblazer - the North American Wilderness Journal

“Undocumented… historically challenged… factually baseless... scandalous… crap... a free pass to a world of hurt, censure, excommunication, jihad, liable suits, international sanctions, and interminable litigation… even the quotes lifted from supposed reviews are utter bullshit…” 
- Harvard Literary Digest

“A Pripyat Summer takes a lengthy, traumatic, painful and bloodied post-coffee, morning-dump in mankind’s collective Fountain of Knowledge.”
- My Little Pony Review

“A superlatively shameless super-nova decidedly dwarfing countless constellations of lesser literary luminaries... ‘Il est de temps en temps un peu prétentieux,’ as Baudelaire might have said....”
- The Illinois Illiteration

“Røvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøv... (zzzt-knæs-grzzzzz...zzzit) fissefissefissefissefisse........... (gzzzt!... crackle...) ............grrrrrrrrrr... prrrrrruuuuuuuuuuuut!.....røvrøvrøvrøv statsfovaltningspolitik røvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøvrøv.............brøndby.................... (zzzt! bipp!) ...fissefissefisse fissefisse......................fisseko........................ (gzzt!)
 - Danmarks Radio (DR-Røv Sport)

“As if we needed yet another reason to repeal Obamacare…”
- The New Republic

“Non!”
- Le Diplomatique

“Admittedly a great idea for a publication. But what gives with all the lousy stapling? And smudgy printing? On lousy, goddamned photocopy paper... Are you crazy?!? You call this a fucking book? Goddammit! I would have wiped my fucking ass with it if not for the fucking staples. You useless, fucking amateurs! GODDAMFUCK! ARRGGGH! ..................nnnngggggGGGH... FAAAAARRRRRRGGGH!!!”
- Die Kunst

“ ‘Oh my word, Miss Patrovska. That is certainly the sexiest chicken I have encountered on my rounds today,’ said Tom the postman lustily. ‘Why, Tom! You filthy, wanton cunt!’ replied the milking-wench, red-faced, writhing and whimpering with unabashed lasciviousness. ‘Have you fallen in with the “goat-less”? Is there no bottom to the depths of the well of your godless worldliness?’ ”
- Bezkozlie Climax #887

“Anderson and Christiansen seem to be suffering from delusions of adequacy... An immediate and dire threat to the national security of our sunburned country... Riots... Terror... Economic collapse... Fear... Death... Fire... Brimstone... Sodomy in the streets... Immigrants clogging the sidewalks... Eternal, unrelenting torment in fiery lakes of sulphur and shite and Wheat-Bix and lentils... Dogs and cats living together... The wheels are still turning but the hamsters are dead...”
- “Question Time” - Live from Parliament House, Canberra

“Without any doubt the best fucking book EVER!!!!!”
- The Mabel The Label Newsletter

“you think you fuck us in hole in the ass yes? you think you take fucking food from fucking babys mouth yes? we soon come you fuck you mother middle of cold dark night we come press you piece of whore shit platinum master card long down you fucking throat yes? you eat yes? you shit out we again pressing them up you cherry fucking ass we beet you with iron you fix change car tire you puke you up fucking piece of whore shit platinum master card full with you shit we watch we laugh you cry like little girlie bitch yes?”
- private email correspondence from unknown casino owner to unnamed Belgian photographer

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